“Boys Will Be Boys” But Your Mom??

I am an eight-year-old girl, and at the moment, I’d like to be anything else. Getting lectured by my aunt for grazing my sister while play-fighting is anything but pleasant, but even at that time, I’m left wondering why my male cousins are getting let off the hook yet again for beating each other to a pulp. In that moment, and many others like it, I am reminded again of the oddly universal truth: boys will be boys. But how long can this go on until they become men?

In today’s society, it seems that the answer is never, seeing how even after nearly a decade, nothing has changed between my male cousins and me. They get away with their games, and we are punished for our crimes. The term “boy” by definition is “a male child,” but it seems that the term is growing more and more synonymous with “blameless,” boys’ actions, large or small, being dismissed simply because it was assumed that they would figure things out on their own, and it was natural behavior for boys to act out of place. But a 20 times difference in testosterone levels (testosterone levels between sexes) does not make a 20 times difference in the rate of cognitive understanding; in fact, women surpass men in many aspects of learning and comprehension  (L men). To coddle boys when they are just as cognizant of their actions as girls is a dangerous way to infantilize them to the point that they grow up to become men who will continue to never take ownership of their actions. It’s like the book “Everything, Everything” by Nicola Yoon, where a girl loses her sense of reality and any chance at immune health because her mother wanted to keep her trapped where she was in time. Except now instead of a love interest pulling them out of their troubles and teaching them about the real world, these men are thrust into a reality they believe is theirs for the taking because their mothers praise even their mere existence. The only “love interest” they get is a woman that will fall victim to and continue to excuse their actions, no plot-twisting lesson in sight. This is dangerous for not only the people around them, particularly women but also themselves, losing a sense of control over their actions and facing dangerous consequences later on. 

It isn’t like the effects of this phrase and behavior haven’t been seen before. In actuality, this phrase dates as far back as Ancient Rome, a Latin proverb “sunt pueri pueri, pueri puerilia tractant,” meaning “boys are boys, and will act like boys (futurity.org ). We are living the effects, seeing how men don’t own up to their collective actions. Although this phrase benefits men by providing an excuse for their bad behavior, mothers can be seen encouraging this behavior in their upbringing. Mothers that cater to their sons’ every whim raise them to believe their actions are natural and excusable, simply because they favor their sons more. 

Sneaking their way back to the basement to continue their interrupted scuffle, my cousins never learned the lessons they should’ve. But why should they? We girls should’ve stayed out of it, and played a more proper game. After all, they were just messing around, no bones were sticking out in the end. And according to my aunt, their mother, boys will be boys, they’re smart in a way I wasn’t and would learn later on their own.

I guess we’ll see how that plays out.

smthn smells fishy.. and its not just the fish

his only love interest is the fish 

is THIS who you want your son to be???? 

In actuality, help these poor fish, not these weird men. Donate to save this fish! 

STFU - save the fish union