By Virtue of Valentino

    Something people never tell you about AP Lang is how much work goes into it. This class has taken a lot out of me; but it has given me so much back that now I realize the students in years before me left the class encouraging others to take it not as a cruel joke to make underclassmen suffer, but because what you gain blinds you from all the difficulties. 

    Since the first day of school, homework passages and questions from the class textbook “The Language of Composition” have haunted me almost as much as lugging around the actual textbook. I used to see them as a nuisance and rushed to get them done. But soon I realized we would never stop getting work from it, so I might as well make the most of it. I added evidence, furthered my analysis, and most of all I gained confidence. I don’t mean confidence socially, rather in myself and my ability to write. Starting off this school year, I was afraid to ever write in pen. Pens were the bane of my existence; what you said couldn’t be taken back. If you tried to, fat globs of ink got in the way, and soon the page turned into an abstract art piece rather than a piece of literature. Now, however, it feels odd holding a pencil in that class at all— my whole second semester notebook is completely in ink. Writing in-class essays helped a lot with this, but the thing that started me off using pens were these textbook writes. No matter what grade I got, I was always proud of myself for making something that would be memorialized without fear, and it’s a little fear of mine I have so much pride for overcoming. I take notes on what I mess up too— bright colorful inks decorated my page with notes from in-class discussions that helped me further my understanding so much more. Sometimes I felt hopeless, always missing things and having to later add it in the margins, but when I was able to underline my own words with my sparkly pink pen, I knew I improved as a writer because I was noticing what I was supposed to. I’m so grateful I put my everything into these little assignments, because it makes the reward all the more vibrant.

    Another week, another blog; I’m honestly sad to say this is the last one. At first blogs began as a daunting task for me— I had no idea where to start and how to go about organizing, writing, and basically everything that constituted a blog. It’s been so long since an English class gave me creative freedom, so I felt like I lost my touch. I was so lost that I based my theme on what I had for dinner: fish. It started out being all about the ocean, with my first blogs being severely cut down to fit around two hundred fifty words and all about fish. I thought a theme felt like a great idea until I realized I was trying to restrict myself again, whether it be to a certain number of words or to a particular format. When I let loose and wrote what interested me at that point in time and related it to the class, I saw so much more of myself in my style, and I had so much more passion for not only what was going on around me but what was going on in class. In AP Psychology we learned that the self-reference effect— relating what you need to memorize to things you have interest in— helps you memorize things the most. For me, the most memorable blogs were the ones where I said what I thought with no regrets but one, which is that I didn’t let loose like that as often as I could’ve been. Every week, I began to get exited to write and to say the most unimportant things and have the most important people read them. Thank you to my older sister Sabrina, who put up with me rereading my every post to her before I uploaded them; without you my train of thought would’ve been off its metaphorical tracks, and my grammar that could make readers question if it was still English. Thank you to Jaspreet, for our weekly “okay im done” “okay ill go comment” texts; I think I can safely say we talk about blogs more than anything else. Thank you to Miss Valentino for always pushing through the bad and complimenting the good; any week you gave me a shoutout will always be a good week, even if it’s to joke about my undying love for Gregory Peck (which I still believe is totally valid— look at him!).

    Thank you to my table pod; the time we actually spent studying will always be a marvel to me. To Ana Sofia, for her obnoxious yawns (I can hear it as I write this); to Arya, for being the least cynical person with the most love for the word; to Hannah, for her marked fashion sense, since no woman (even in sweats) is unmarked; to Mili, for her distaste for strawberries (which I still strongly disagree with); and to Divya for all of our partner writes, your notebook corners you let me draw us on, your MF Doom obsession, your nonchalance at another six on your essays, and most of all your emoness. Thank you to all of you weirdo freakazoids, and to Miss Valentino who forced the random pairings out of boredom of our seating chart. I don’t think we would’ve ended up together if it wasn’t for that, and I’m not sure what I would’ve done if we hadn’t. 

    Whilst writing this, I noticed a recurring name throughout it all; someone who made me laugh, someone who does their job better than any other I’ve had in her position, someone who made first hour a blessing that I will be sad to see go: thank you Miss Valentino. You’ve encouraged me more than you know. Next year and far into the future, having to write another blog, read another textbook piece, scrambling through another in-class essay, I’ll always think back to the accepting beginning you gave me that encouraged my growth, hard effort, and dedication. Well, maybe not too much dedication— I still remember your appalled reaction to my page of notes for every chapter of The Great Gatsby and Maus! You even gave me my first school field trip to Clyde’s, a play I don’t think I’ll ever forget (for more reasons than just educational, thank you Jason and Rafael’s actors). So in years from now, when I move on to a new table pod, a new turn-and-talk partner, a new textbook with even more confusing passages, a new illegible scribble of an essay comment, or even a new play, I’ll think of this classroom and all you put into it to make it something of a comfort space, or even a home, to me. Thank you. 

    Now go pass your AP Lang exam to any student still reading this; I think we’ve had a lot of help getting to this point— or 5 points!

Comments

  1. This was so good! I like how you talked about your growth in the class, and acknowledged everyone who got you there. It reflects your experience well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Divya DwarakanathMay 10, 2024 at 4:35 AM

    I am not surprise that you thanked me for my emoness at all LOL. I always enjoyed the partner writes with you even though we both stressed ourselves out and did worse than we ever would have were we just doing it alone. Your insights were always so useful and I used so much of your writing in my own - making it so much better. I am so grateful we sat together and worked together throughout the year because working with you made my writing so much better than I could have ever hoped for :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved how you added photos to your piece! It made it more personal and helped readers connect to your piece more!
    -Sarah N

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like your graphics and many different examples. This was a good reflection over the entire year.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really liked all the photos you added. I really liked all the different examples that you gave.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment